Looking like a Mom

Okay, I want to know something. When did looking like a Mom become a fate worse than death? When did our country become so obsessed with perfection and youth that being a mom was okay, but looking like one was to be avoided at all costs. Is there any other job or identity out there that people want to have but not to appear to have? How did we get so backward? Why do mother's magazines and catalogs all have pictures of perfectly thin, perfectly dressed, perfectly made up, perfectly cellulite and stretch mark free bodies, with perfect breasts? How realistic is that? What is so atrocious about a few stretch marks? These are signs of a woman who has achieved the ultimate in femininity. What is so horrible about breasts that look as if they have nurtured and fed babies? Why do we all so dread "looking like a mom?" What is so wrong with looking as if you are giving it all to your babies, and so maybe you didn't have the time to put on makeup, and spend an hour on your hair? What kind of mothers are the women who "don't look like a mom?" Are they just so great that they have time for everything. Ha! Maybe if they have a super laid back baby who doesn't need a lot of mothering, then they may have time for looking like a super model (or a "supermom") but then, does her baby get less attention? As for the notion that a woman can manage to attend to her baby properly, never denying him her attention and love, and still manage to look like a supermodel: I put that under the category of "Anything's Possible." You know, like my chance of being discovered at the grocery store and whisked away to Hollywood to begin my career of super stardom. It could happen, but I'm probably more likely to win the lottery. I'm not trying to make anyone feel like a bad mom, here, by the way. I'm just at odds with the what society in our culture expects of mothers. Okay, yeah, I think Mom Jeans are hideous. But if I see a woman out in public with her small children, and she's dressed in sweats, with her hair in a ponytail, with no makeup on, I know that there is a woman who cares more about her children, and about being a mom, than about looking like one. Why don't we honor mothers the way other cultures do? Sure, most people are nicer to pregnant women, and give them some special treatment, but once you have that baby, you're expected to loose the baby weight immediately and look like you just stepped out of a magazine. Some women are just lucky; they are thin no matter what, they are those adorable pregnant women whose bodies are perfect the whole way through pregnancy, except they just look like they swallowed a bowling ball. They loose the weight without even trying. My best friend is like that. She's gorgeous the whole way through pregnancy and after. But she doesn't look like a magazine, either. She's gorgeous in a natural way. So why can't we start looking at all mothers like that? Beautiful as people, as dedicated mothers? Not just as women. Why does your relevance and usefulness seem to vanish as soon as you "look like a mom?" Don't most men want their wives to be good mothers? Isn't that, shouldn't that be any mother's goal? To be a good mom? Not a beautiful, perfectly airbrushed, made up mom. A real mom. A mom who cares more about her childrens' welfare than her own appearance. That being said, we mothers do have to honor the woman that we are, and take care of ourselves, or we risk feeling resentful or angry. But we need to cut ourselves some slack. I may be one of those women who "looks like a mom." I'm lucky to get a shower. Sometimes I might almost forget to brush my teeth. I try to remind myself that "supermom" is a myth, and I can't expect to look perfect. I wish I didn't feel so bad about the way I look. I'm pretty sure the pressure comes from living in this culture. Hopefully some day soon, we will start to expect moms to "look like moms." Does anything in the world make more sense?