Like a good neighbor?

Whatever happened to good neighbors? State farm used to have the motto "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there." Well, not one of my neighbors bothered to come out tonight when I was screaming for help, so I can only hope that State Farm would be a better neighbor than the ones I have.

I'd like to also say that I have tried my best to be a good neighbor, and to try to bring back a feeling of community to the place I live. This Christmas, my 3 year old and I went around door to door, delivering Christmas goodies I made. When new neighbors come, I always go to their house with cookies to welcome them to the neighborhood. These same neighbors ignored me tonight.

It was snowy and icy out tonight. My husband and I were coming home from his brother's house and we stopped at the top of the hill we live at the bottom of so we could get out of the truck and see what the road looked like before we started down. When we got out, the truck began to slide down the hill, with my two children inside. They were still in their seats and probably would have been fine even if the truck had gone all the way to the bottom of the hill, but when you see that happening, all you can think about is that something bad might happen. I've seen two cars in the six years I've lived here crash into the trees and creek at the bottom of the dead end in better weather. As the truck was sliding down the hill, I screamed, just as many people might do. I screamed loudly, several times. The truck swung around and stopped in a neighbor's yard. No one came outside, but I noticed lights come on. When my husband went to knock on their door to talk to them because he thought the truck may have hit a car parked in their yard, they turned the light off. Later, they claimed to have heard nothing. Somehow I don't believe them.

When I was out delivering the Christmas goodies I had made for my neighbors, I noticed that for the most part, they all seemed bewildered. One lady asked me who I was. It's really sad that people don't know or care to know their neighbors any more. At least there is one family up the street who are good neighbors. They are both from the area and are very nice. They invited me in when I came with my Christmas treats. The wife brought me a thank you note for the casserole I brought them when she had a baby last spring. I notice that people from the south seem to appreciate kindness. It's part of the charm of this region and it's appreciated by people who've grown up with it. It's just too bad that kindness and good neighbors seem to be going the way of the dinosaur.

LLL Conference

We went to the LLL of Georgia (that's La Leche Leauge) in Helen this past weekend and had a blast.  Miguel went with me this year and took Eowyn to all the kids' activities.  At one point he told me that he said to Eowyn, "come on Eowyn, let's go make some more garbage."  I thought that was pretty funny since most of the stuff they made, like a miniature boat made of sticks and yarn, and a rain stick made out of a paper towel tube, probably will end up in the trash.  But she had fun and got to see a opossum and touch a snake in two of the activities.  And Miguel also told me I was missing all of the good stuff.  But I was there to go to the different sessions offered, including two led by Dr. Bob Sears, so that was really cool.  Plus we had a lot of fun in downtown Helen taking carriage rides and checking out all the shops and taking tons of pictures.  It's so great to get away and go somewhere without having to worry that my children are causing a disturbance and not to have to think about nursing in public.  I blend right in.  I love LLL and conference so much that I have been thinking a lot about becoming a LLL leader.  I like LLL so much that I want to be involved with it long after my kids are weaned.  I actually had registered to attend the session entitled, "is leadership for you?" but I must have been the only one since they cancelled it.  Oh well, I'll just talk to my LLL leader about it at the next meeting.  

On a sad note, I found out that I won't have a job anymore at the end of the month.  Lulu's is closing May 30th.  I found this out from my co worker who called to ask if I could cover her shift.  It was kind of a shitty way to find out and I got my feelings hurt a little that I was sort of left out.  I know it's b/c I work part time and I'm hardly ever there, but damn, I do exist.  I didn't find out until the last second about our tips going on our checks and that was by accident when I was present for a conversation about it and got filled in only b/c I asked what they were talking about.  

The thing that really gets me though is that my boss told me today that they were told not to tell any clients.  Are you kidding me?!  The reason for this is b/c the owner doesn't want people to get a chance to redeem their gift cards.  It's so outrageous.  She didn't set aside the money to pay us when she sold the gift cards so then she's got to get the money from somewhere else when the gift card is redeemed.  So all these people are going to be calling the spa to use their gift cards only to find out that they are worthless.  I feel terrible for people who got them for Christmas and will never be able to use them.  People sit on those things forever and keep putting off using them.  I guess that's why Clark Howard hates gift cards so much.  I know I would be livid if I spent 300 bucks or so to send someone I love to the spa for the day and found out the place closed.  How terrible.  My boss did tell me that they were telling the regulars who had purchased series (packages) so that they could use them up in time.   She also told me she feared the spa might close even sooner than the end of the month.  I was pretty shocked but then again I'm not there much so I didn't have any idea how bad it was.  Well, maybe a little, since I hadn't had an appointment in ages, but since I wasn't there, I could assume that other people did.  Plus I thought that since it had been around for several years that the spa would survive the weak economy.  Guess I was wrong.  

I do have an appointment for an interview at a massage place here in Woodstock on Monday.  I'm spoiled by Lulu's though.  It'll be hard to go back to working for someplace like Spa Sydell, where they treat you like crap.  Of course, I hope this place won't be like that.  It would be so convenient to be in Woodstock.  It's not a spa though.  I really prefer working in a spa.  I'll just see how it goes.  

What a fun week

We had no water for two days due to a leak in the water line right at the hookup to the main line.  So that was great.  Kip has had hives since Wednesday and has been quite miserable (both my children are allergic to penicillin yay).  Eowyn woke up every 30 minutes or so crying and having a fit for two nights in a row.  Ah, how lovely.  I just keep reminding myself that one day I will look back on this time in my life and miss it terribly.  I won't remember how bad the bad parts really were.  At least last night we all slept better.  I think Eowyn was so overly tired that it disrupted her sleep cycle.  I just do not know what to do with this child.  I had stopped letting her take naps so that she would go to bed at a decent time and that seemed to be working until Wednesday.  So last night I let her nap in the evening and then she didn't go to bed until 11:30.  But at least she didn't wake up all night long.  

It's a sad day in a woman's life for her pride in her appearance and self image when she looks at a pair of shoes she's just put on and sees dried spit up on them and says to herself, "I think that's vomit.  Oh well," and leaves the house WITH THE SHOES ON.  Look what motherhood has done to me.  I am so frumptastic.  I refuse to blame my kids for it though.   I will never be one of those mothers who says they used to be skinny before they had kids .....blah blah.  It's not their fault.  I just can't do both, so I had to let some of my standards for my appearance slide.  I could take more time and effort for myself, but right now it doesn't seem worth it.  So I chose to be frumptastic and a little hairier and less well dressed and heavier for now.  My kids need my time and energy more.  But that doesn't mean it's their fault.  It's my choice.  Sometimes I'm sad about it but I know that I'll get back to that one day.  I'll be a lot older though.  Having kids has really made me realize that nothing is ever perfect.  It's not in the nature of the world.  I wish that I could have everything: time to myself, plenty of money (which means I'd have to go back to work) a clean house, lots of time to ride my horse, to go to the gym and have a decent body, to journal or blog, to meditate every day, to go out with friends and have a good time ....on and on, plus be with my kids all the time.  It's just impossible.  So I have learned when I'm feeling overwhelmed and bad about all of those things I just have to realize that everything does not have to be perfect in order for me to enjoy my life.  Because if that was the case, I never would.

I'm not neglecting this on purpose

I just can't manage to update a lot with the two crumb snatchers hogging all my time.  

It was so weird Thursday having snow and pollen at the same time.  Wonder if that will ever happen again.

I think that Kip's reflux may be getting better.  He hasn't thrown up very much for the past couple of days so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I made the most amazing cupcakes on Wednesday.  I made everything from scratch and they completely blow away any other cupcakes I've ever eaten.  Of course I've never eaten any cupcakes except for the kind you buy already made at the store. When I told my father that I was going to try making chocolate buttercream frosting he said, "oh....I kinda hope you aren't successful."  Well, I was.  And oh man, just wait till he tastes it.

Miguel's niece got married this past Sunday and Eowyn had a blast running around and playing with the other kids that were there.  So much so that she didn't pay quite enough attention to what was going on with her body.  All of a sudden she comes running up to me saying "Mama, I gotta poop," with this really urgent look on her face.  By the time we got to the bathroom she was bouncing up and down a little and saying, "oh no, oh no, oh no." As I suspected, it was too late.  That is the first time that has happened since she potty trained back in September.  So of course, I had just recently taken the pair of panties I had been keeping in my purse b/c I thought I'd never need them, since I hadn't up to that point.  So for the rest of the day she had to run around in tights with no underwear.  It could have been worse I guess.

I took her to a thing called "Baby Loves Disco" last Saturday.  http://www.babylovesdisco.com/  Aside from the horrible traffic I got stuck in on the way there (of course the event was downtown and there was roadwork going on) with the baby screaming most of the time (he doesn't like the car very much) and thinking that I wasn't going to be able to go the way mapquest said b/c of construction and a closure at my exit (thanks so much Dad, I would have had a tough time without your knowledge of downtown) it was pretty fun.  It was  a little overwhelming for her at first I think, b/c it really is like a nightclub inside, with loud music and flashing lights and people (kids) dancing everywhere, but she had fun.  She got her face painted and danced and had some snacks and I think it was a  success overall.  Next time I am going to try to convince some other people I know with kids her age to go b/c I think she will have more fun if she goes in with someone she knows.  I couldn't dance too much with her b/c I had the baby strapped to me.  I did take a few pictures though.

This will be the first Easter that Eowyn gets an Easter basket and goes on an Easter egg hunt so I am excited.  I love that stuff and I can't wait until she is old enough to dye eggs with.  

Lately she has been insisting on wearing this pink Atlanta Braves shorts outfit I got for her to wear this summer.  She doesn't seem to realize that it's still too cold for shorts.  The other day she put it on with some black shiny dress shoes and put her bag over her shoulder and came and showed me.  It was soooo cute.  Even though it didn't really match, she looked like a fashonista.  My little girl is 100% girl.  The other day when we were at the creek I saw a snake near her while she was picking up a rock to throw in the water and when I picked it up to play with it she would have nothing to do with it.  I think I scared her a little when I gasped when I saw it.  It was just a really small little ringneck snake but it was neat.  She's not afraid of snakes in cages at least.  

Well there is it, now I don't feel like I'm neglecting this anymore.

Spring Pictures

I took the kids monday to have some spring pictures made with a live bunny.  I've only been able to see this one so far but I'm really happy with it and can't wait to see the rest.  Eowyn was loving having her picture taken as usual.  Kip did really well until the end.  It was actually kind of chilly so I was proud of Eowyn toughing it out in that sundress and bare feet.  

A sign of the times?  Yesterday when I called the spa to see if I had any appointments my boss told me that for the first time ever, there were no appointments booked at all that day.  That is quite scary.  

Kip has been really restless the past few days and I'm feeling a bit like we are back in the newborn stage.  He doesn't seem to sleep at night for more than an hour at a time and he wakes up just restless.  Not hungry, just moving and squirming and restless.  I was up and down all night with him.  In the swing, out of the swing.....in the bed, out of the bed.....so tired.  And it's kind of screwed up Eowyn's sleeping schedule b/c since I'm so tired I want to take a nap during the day and then  she takes a nap and then she doesn't want to go to sleep at night until 11:30 or so.  Yay.  We were doing so good there for a while.  If she doesn't take a nap she'll go to bed at like 9:30 and that is just Fantastic.  We'll get back to that I guess.  

My parents' neighbor

I posted the resolution without the full story so here's the whole story front to back.

On Friday evening I was standing out in my parents driveway with them when I saw a police car pull up in the neighbor's driveway.  I commented on it and then noticed there were two.  Then another came and another.  Then emergency vehicles: first a fire truck and then two ambulances.  I was trying my best to get a good look at what was going on through the hedges (being the nosy neighbor that I am, even with other people's neighbors) and all I could see (besides the cops) was an older lady standing by her car on the phone.  I thought it was really weird that she was outside.  We watched the firemen go in and then come back out and then the emergency vehicles left.  At that point I thought that John must have fallen or something and everything was alright.  But then the cops didn't leave.  My parents went inside but I just grabbed a blanket to wrap around the baby because I had to know what was going on.  I stood out there forever and after a little while my dad came back out.  Then a young guy pulled up in our driveway and said this was his uncle's house and asked if he could park there.  I said yeah and then looked at my dad who nodded.   A bit later my dad told me I should have told the kid to park in the grass so my brother could get in the driveway.  I couldn't go up and bother him but as we were standing outside we saw two black cars pull up and more cops get out.  Detectives.  My dad went back in but I stayed outside until I saw one of the detectives get some blue latex gloves out of his trunk and another one holding crime scene tape.  That was a bad sign.  When the cop came over towards my parents' yard unrolling the tape I asked him if he could ask the kid to move his car up into the grass.  That was when he told me John had died.  

A little later two cops came to my parents' door to ask some questions.  Well, at that point you know something really bad has happened.  He didn't tell us much except that John had been killed.  It  was unbelievable and I didn't know if we'd ever find out what happened.  

Fast forward to the next day.

So I know what happened to my parents' neighbor.  It was all very tragic and senseless.  Apparantly his roommate/caregiver shot him and took his car.   My neighbor was 67 and a retired lawyer (I never new he was a lawyer).  He was a good neighbor and a caring man.  It blows my mind that while cars were driving by and people in neighboring houses (including my parents) were sleeping he was being murdered.  I really hope that he never even knew it was happening, he was just asleep and one minute alive and the next minute he wasn't.  From what his niece and nephew told my parents when they came over, he was supposed to meet someone that morning and didn't.  Also they said someone was using his card and the company was trying to reach him and couldn't and they called his sister who went to his house and found him.  He was sitting in his chair with a blanket over him and she didn't even realize right away he was dead.  So that makes me think that it happened without him knowing it.  I hope he was asleep in that chair when it happened.  I can't imagine the killer would take the time to reposition him after murdering him.   I guess we'll never really know why, since the man who did it killed himself during a traffic stop in Zebulon (a town south of Atlanta).  That guy always did seem a little weird but as my dad put it, lots of people are weird.  It doesn't mean you think they are going to kill someone.  

I have been thinking about John a lot and remebering stuff.  Like how he came down (a little tipsy) on y2k new years and gave us glasses of champagne while we stood outside watching the fireworks.  And how one time he asked my mom why we didn't have a concrete pad beside our driveway to turn around on so we didn't have to back out onto the busy road.  He said "I worry every time I see them do it (referring, I think, to my brother and I).  I'm afraid it's going to be a bloody mess, just a bloody mess."  I was trying to remember if we went to his house on halloween and I'm sure we did since he's been there for a long time.  I don't think I was any older than 13 when he moved in (although my brother says it was later).  We took goodies to him at Christmas and he used to bring our dog a biscuit every day that he made himself.  He used to sit at night all the time with his living room blinds open.  I'm glad that we got to know him and I'm very sad that he was murdered.  It's so tragic and senseless.

Do it for the children

I have to say, I am getting a little tired of these reality show contestants justifying leaving their children for weeks and weeks by saying they are "doing it for their family."  Please.  You are doing it for yourself.  I actually can believe it a little bit from the men, since they have a different relationship with their children and it usually involves making most if not all of the money.  But these girls I see on American Idol and Make Me a Supermodel leaving their extremely young children for weeks and weeks rationalizing it by saying "I'm doing it for my child" make me laugh.  Your child does not want you to be a supermodel.  Probably not a famous singer either.  Do you know how much more you will be away if you actually succeed?  Your child does not care how much more money you will make.  They are the few still untainted people who value people and love more than money (okay, so maybe lots of people who are grown up do to but sometimes it doesn't seem like it).  They would much rather have their mothers around them.  I'm all for following your dreams, and I don't necessarily think they are doing a "bad" thing or even the wrong thing and they may even think they are doing it for their children.  But when it comes down to it, they are really doing it because they want to.  They want to be rich and famous.  Well, once you have kids, for those few short first years they really really need you.  A lot.  So traveling the world being rich and famous is not going to be good for them, no matter how much you want it to.  When I was a little girl, I wanted a horse more than anything in the world.  I literally cried myself to sleep just about every night I wanted one so bad.  I wanted a horse more than anyone else in the world, I really did.  But if I had had the choice between having my dad around  like he was or having a horse, I would not hesitate to choose my Dad.  And I did get my horse.  And it was my Daddy who got him for me.  But I had to work for him too.  He was my dream.  He still is.  But I would never ever choose him over my children.